Quotes and Jokes 1 (127 Viewers)

[Marcel]

You may think so but others might have differing opinions. Either way the quotes diminish the thread IMHO. Much prefer just the jokes and other amusing stuff.

Agreed, I would say the spirit of this thread is on the lighter side.

 

[MiTasol]

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Oneth Twoth Threeth Fourth etc is more correct

 

[SaparotRob]

I actually had to use those terms in railroad train orders.

 

[WARSPITER]

"The man who is not liberal minded at the age of twenty has no heart.

The man who is not a conservative by the age of forty has no brain."

W. Churchill.

 

[SaparotRob]

I first heard that misquoted as communist instead of liberal. Still, I like.
Please don't ban me.
Go Boeing!

 

[Greg Boeser]

"The man who is not liberal minded at the age of twenty has no heart.

The man who is not a conservative by the age of forty has no brain."

W. Churchill.

Woman to Churchill at party: Sir, you are drunk!
Churchill: Yes, Madame, I am drunk. And tomorrow I will be sober. You, however, will still be ugly.

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[A4K]

'What is Bigamy?
It is having one wife too many.
What is Monogamy?
The same'
- Oscar Wilde

 

[Glider]

Woman to Churchill at party: Sir, you are drunk!
Churchill: Yes, Madame, I am drunk. And tomorrow I will be sober. You, however, will still be ugly.

My personal favourite Churchill comment was with Lady Astor.

Churchill and his wife were visiting Lady Astor for tea. Lady Astor said 'Churchill, if you were my husband, I would put poison in that'. He looked at her and replied, 'Ma'am, If you were my wife, I would drink it'.

Interestingly the two of them had many verbal joust's, but I cannot help think that they had a respect for each other.

 

[DBII]

I was talking to some Sheriff's deputies one day and opined that if I had to shoot someone breaking into my house the best thing would be to just throw them in the bed of my 4X4 pickup and go dispose of them without mentioning the incident to anyone.

They replied, "You think you're strong enough to carry a grown man out to your truck and throw them in the bed?"

My response was, "I have a chain saw. I'll make two trips."

Sounds like my wife.

 

[DBII]

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But doctor will I be able to play the piano? ....
Maybe, after rehabilitation...
That's great, I could not play before.

 

[Airframes]

 

[Wurger]

 

[ARTESH]

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I have seen that error, many times.

There is two boulevard, one on eastern and one the western side of Tehran which - officially - has numbers, instead of names, and most of the ##1st, ##2nd and ##3rd numbers are ###th alley / street / avenue on English name, showing under the Persian names.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[ARTESH]

When you have laminated your teeth recently!!!

 

[special ed]