Quotes and Jokes 1 (23 Viewers)

[ARTESH]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Frog]

By chance, I don't have a Beretta :

 

[MIflyer]

If you did own one you could bring it in taken apart and it would not look like that.

 

[special ed]

Warning!

Old Dad joke:
Stanley called 911 and said, "Send an ambulance, my wife is going to have a baby!"
"Tell me ,is this her first baby?"
"No, this is her husband Kevin speaking."

 

[Greg Boeser]

Reminds me of a story my brother in law told me. He used to work as an EMT for the county, and one night they got a call for a woman in labor.
When they arrived he could see that the woman was in heavy labor and asked, "How long has she been this way?"
The husband replied, "Nine months!"

 

[Lucky13]

 

[The Basket]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[special ed]

"RAC Motoring Services"
"Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
"Does the policy name give You a clue?"

 

[special ed]

"operator"
"Please give me the number for the knitwear company in Woven?"
"Woven? Are you sure?"
"Yes..That's what it says on the label...Woven in Scotland."

 

[Greg Boeser]

My pony had a bad cough yesterday. Today it's just a little hoarse.

 

[special ed]

"Operator"
"I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please."
"I'm sorry, there is no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"
"Well, It used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

 

[special ed]

Had enough? OK,I'll quit.

 

[Greg Boeser]

One cannibal looked at the other across the table. "You know, I've never cared for your mother."
"Just eat the noodles, then!"

 

[special ed]

Have you heard about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

 

[Greg Boeser]

Q: Why don't cannibals like clowns?

A: They taste funny.

 

[Greg Boeser]

Never be late for dinner with a cannibal.
They'll give you the cold shoulder.