Quotes and Jokes 1 (140 Viewers)

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What do storms wear under their raincoats ?

Thunderwear.
 
I would be over 130 then and I have enough health problems already so that is a definite NO.
 
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Two arts students were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A blonde woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a spanner from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "6.5 metres," and walked away.
One student shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
Both have since quit their degree courses and have been elected to parliament
 
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week"

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog - now that's cool."
 
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