Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

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My brother-in-law used to work as a paramedic for the county. One night they got a call for a woman in labor. They arrived at the apartment, to find an immigrant woman in heavy labor, husband standing anxiously nearby.
"How long has she been this way?" Asked my brother-in-law.
The husband responded with a big smile, nodding vigorously, "Nine month!"
 
Posted before but i think one can see its very funny how Theo rules with his 2 kg body.

 
An Englishman, Scotsman, Welshman, and Irishman are captured by the enemy and sentenced to death by firing squad. Before being shot they are asked if they have any last requests:

The Welshman says "Before I die, I would like to hear 1000 Welsh voices singing 'Land of my Fathers'".

The Irishman says "Before I die, I would like to see 1000 Irish dancers performing 'Riverdance'".

The Scotsmen says "Before I die, I would like to hear 1000 bagpipes playing 'Scotland the Brave'".

Their captor says "And you, Englishman; What is your last request?"

The Englishman says "For pity's sake, please shoot me first!"
 
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