Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Wurger]

 

[MiTasol]

An Englishman, Scotsman, Welshman, and Irishman are captured by the enemy and sentenced to death by firing squad. Before being shot they are asked if they have any last requests:

The Welshman says "Before I die, I would like to hear 1000 Welsh voices singing 'Land of my Fathers'".

The Irishman says "Before I die, I would like to see 1000 Irish dancers performing 'Riverdance'".

The Scotsmen says "Before I die, I would like to hear 1000 bagpipes playing 'Scotland the Brave'".

Their captor says "And you, Englishman; What is your last request?"

The Englishman says "For pity's sake, please shoot me first!"

The version I knew 30 odd years back the Irishman asked to die by being injected with AIDS and then said Fooled them - I was wearing a condom.

 

[WARSPITER]

Was talking to a fella who said he had been married twice.

"First wife died from poison mushrooms".

"Oh, that's sad".

"Yeah, second wife died from a fractured skull".

"Really. What happened ?".

"She wouldn't eat the mushrooms".

 

[Greg Boeser]

A cannibal was having dinner with his wife.
"You know, I never cared for your mother." He said.
The wife glared at him angrily.
"Just eat the noodles then!"

 

[special ed]

Have you heard about the cannibal who passed his brother in the wood?

 

[Greg Boeser]

Have you heard about the cannibal who passed his brother in the wood?

No, but did you know they won't eat clowns?
They taste funny.

 

[A4K]

A cannibal chief was invited to give a speech about his tribe at an International Culture conference. As he was sitting on the plane, the Stewardess came by and asked him if he would like to see the menu for lunch. He said 'No thankyou, just give me the Passenger List'.

 

[Lucky13]

Ok, I'll bite....

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[Snowman]

Different cultures - different approaches in solving the same issues

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[syscom3]

 

[Snowman]

- What's that rumble outside there?
- Some driver tried to turn left into the alley.
- But there is no alley to the left.
- Well, that's why there's such a rumble.

 

[Wurger]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Airframes]