Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

Wurger · Wednesday at 5:40 AM

v2 · Wednesday at 5:57 AM

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: Then you use to bite my neck"
Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"

Wurger · Wednesday at 5:58 AM

Snautzer01 · Wednesday at 7:31 AM

Took This Photo Of The Beautiful Sunrise At Our Bed And Breakfast, Years Ago, During Our Honeymoon. I Didn't Look At It Closely And Sent To All Of Our Family. Nothing Says "Welcome To The Family" Like A Photo Such As This

Snowman · Wednesday at 9:52 AM

Wurger · Wednesday at 10:19 AM

GTX · Wednesday at 12:52 PM

MiTasol said:
Bacon flavoured coffee might work but coffee flavoured bacon does nothing good for me.

It is like good whiskey and water - each perfect on their own and sacrilege when in the same glass.

Bad whiskey needs water - lots and lots and lots of water - about 1000 to 1 is the right mix.

Bad bacon is rare, unlike bad whiskey.

I saw coffee flavoured Doritos the other day...