Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
Thats funny ! printed up five copies to start Monday off right
Only 5...life must be good!
michaelmaltby
Colonel
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
Ok that is funny regardless of what aisle you sit in.
So these two young guys are sitting around in the pool at an expensive Miami Beach hotel. And the first guy says, "The best thing that happened to me was, my business burned down. I collected the fire insurance, and here I am." The second guy says, "The best thing that happened to me was, my business was washed out by a flood. I collected the flood insurance, and here I am." The first guy says, "How did you start a flood?"
futuredogfight
Senior Airman
A shotgun marriage is a case of wife or death.
:good ones...
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
otftch
Staff Sergeant
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Matt308
Glock Perfection
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an
unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a
cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the
gentleman who is seated over there'..... and indicated
the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking
at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a
note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a
response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the
gentleman.
The note read:'For me to accept this bottle, you
need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million
dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'..
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in
return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to
be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and
a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes
in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana .
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches.
Just send the wine back.
unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a
cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the
gentleman who is seated over there'..... and indicated
the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking
at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a
note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a
response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the
gentleman.
The note read:'For me to accept this bottle, you
need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million
dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'..
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in
return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to
be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and
a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes
in Aspen and Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana .
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches.
Just send the wine back.
