Quotes and Jokes

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I used the knowledge of age over youth once when playing vollyball. One of the players on the other side was a career pizza delivery man. Whenever the ball went to him, I threw a nickel near his feet. He always looked down and missed the ball. He caught on when he realised they were all nickles and I had to throw a couple of quarters before he ignored the tinkle of coins. I figure I spent close to a dollar, but it was worth it.
 
The sequel to this:
"The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me twice?"
The farmer asked "Twice"?
The old lady replied "Well, we're coming back the same way, aren't we?"
 
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