Once upon a time...though recent actions would imply otherwise.
Quotes and Jokes (7 Viewers)
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Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Peter Principle in effect.
manta22
Banned
We'll need to wait and see...
HOW TO BE A TERRIBLE MANAGER
• In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers.
• Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products; send back for refinishing those which have the least flaw.
• To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers ; give them undeserved promotions.
• Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.
• Multiply the procedures and clearances involved in issuing instructions, pay checks, and so on. See that three people have to approve everything where one would do.
• In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers.
• Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products; send back for refinishing those which have the least flaw.
• To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers ; give them undeserved promotions.
• Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.
• Multiply the procedures and clearances involved in issuing instructions, pay checks, and so on. See that three people have to approve everything where one would do.
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Are you in the military?
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Always boast about your degree and certifications.
Have zero prior work experience in your department's tasks.
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,591
- May 13, 2018
One account I had before retirement, had a "worker" who was nearly always missing. He was the joke in the plant. One day I came, and there he was out in the open where every one could see him. I said, "They finally caught him I see". I was told management made him a supervisor because, since they weren't getting any work out of him anyway, he was promoted because he knew all the hiding places.
Nope, but I used to activate such a managerial position...
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,591
- May 13, 2018
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
manta22
Banned
Bat girl
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why, thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says, 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.'
On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why, thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says, 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.'
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Resourceful!
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,591
- May 13, 2018
An Amish lady buggy driver is pulled over. "I'm not going to cite you. I just wanted to warn you the reflector on the back of the buggy is broken and could be dangerous."
"I thank thee. I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also, I notice one of your reins is wrapped around the horse's testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so your husband should check that too."
"Again, I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home."
As soon as she reached home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. "Also, the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."
"I thank thee. I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also, I notice one of your reins is wrapped around the horse's testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so your husband should check that too."
"Again, I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home."
As soon as she reached home, she told her husband about the broken reflector. "Also, the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
