RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Quotes and Jokes (8 Viewers)
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mikewint
Captain
A man was sitting on a beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No", so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said "No", so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third woman came to him and said "Have you ever been screwed?" The fellow said "No". She said "You will be when the tide comes in."
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said "No", so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said "No", so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third woman came to him and said "Have you ever been screwed?" The fellow said "No". She said "You will be when the tide comes in."
Very funny!
mikewint
Captain
was his name Matt?
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Bob
Maestro
Master Sergeant
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Just emailed to me:
USMC Rules For Gunfighting
1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movements are preferred.)
6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
10. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
11. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
12. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
13. Have a plan.
14. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
15. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
16. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
17. Don't drop your guard.
18. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
19. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
20. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
21. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot up you will get.
22. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
23. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4."
Navy Rules for Gunfighting
1. Go to Sea
2. Send the Marines
3. Drink Coffee
USMC Rules For Gunfighting
1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movements are preferred.)
6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
10. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
11. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
12. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
13. Have a plan.
14. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
15. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
16. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
17. Don't drop your guard.
18. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
19. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
20. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
21. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot up you will get.
22. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
23. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4."
Navy Rules for Gunfighting
1. Go to Sea
2. Send the Marines
3. Drink Coffee
Maestro
Master Sergeant
One day a wife got back home. There was an announcement on a sheet of paper hanging on the door. " I'll sell my wife. The price - 360PLN. " The lady hit the roof and entered house. What is going on ? - she asked her husband. How do you know I'm worth these 360PLN?
It is quite easy - the guy answered. 80kg of weight with 2PLN for each kilogram is 160PLN. And adding 200PLN for your wedding ring, it is equal 360PLN.
The next day the husband returned home. There was a notice on door - " I'll sell my husband. The price - 1.10 PLN. " . He went crazy immediately and came in house gnashing his teeth. What ? Only 1.10PLN - How did you catch the price idea? - he shouted out.
It is quite easy - his wife said. Two eggs for 30gr is 60gr and a cream horn without the cream 50gr what is 1.10PLN.
It is quite easy - the guy answered. 80kg of weight with 2PLN for each kilogram is 160PLN. And adding 200PLN for your wedding ring, it is equal 360PLN.
The next day the husband returned home. There was a notice on door - " I'll sell my husband. The price - 1.10 PLN. " . He went crazy immediately and came in house gnashing his teeth. What ? Only 1.10PLN - How did you catch the price idea? - he shouted out.
It is quite easy - his wife said. Two eggs for 30gr is 60gr and a cream horn without the cream 50gr what is 1.10PLN.
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mikewint
Captain
Iv'e seen that picture before and there ain't no boat.!!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Agreed, Wayne...experts in criminal photographic forensics have examined the image, and there is NO boat.
We're still lookin, though....
We're still lookin, though....
