What made me sad today...

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Just found out this afternoon that my 2m ham commuting buddy passed away on the 9th. Bob and I talked on one of the local repeaters every Monday thru Thursday night, as he was headed home from his job and I was headed into mine. It was fun 30-40 minutes for us and we were always welcoming someone into the fray as we burned up the miles. A couple of months ago, a rather vicious cancer reinfestation forced him into retirement. I never got to meet him in person due to schedules, but I did talk with his soon to be teenage daughter a few mornings that he popped on the repeater while taking her to school. I know that his wife, Natalyia and daughter Anna are devastated over this.
 
My MiL has reached the point which she can no longer stay in her own home. Declining memory and mobility rule out her being without 24/7 supervision. For several years different family members have stayed with her, so she at least had daily help, but that is no longer possible.
My wife has taken over her affairs and we are looking for a home suitable for her needs. MiL is not taking this news very well.
 
Unfortunately Greg it is often a cruel reality, I had to go through the same process with my Mother and it is never an easy decision.

We were lucky and found a home for her where the care giver and there family lived in the home with the 6-8 residents. They treated her like part of the Family and she got to spend time daily with there children.

I hope you can find a suitable place for her close to home. I am not looking forward to repeating the process with my MIL or FIL
 
We are looking at a place close to home. It's about a mile away and has a small population. There was a lot of family drama over this. I'm hoping it won't cause a permanent rift.
 

I left work over a year ago to take care of my mom, 24/7. It's tough. I reckon she wiped my butt the first few years I gave her hell, turnabout's fair play.
 
A similar thing with my Dad in the nursing home. One visit, he needed to go to the bathroom. I helped him walk, then sit, and was asked to wipe his behind because "I just can't reach it anymore". My exact thoughts were the same as you, as I smiled thinking of it. He was a very independent man and I knew what it must have meant to him. I remember my mother saying the only time she had seen him cry was when the decision to go to the home was made. I realized then, that my time will come.
 
I am not a sharing guy. So this is a tad difficult for me. It has been a long time ago but it still effects me.

There is nothing more manly taking care of mum or dad in need.
Not storming a mg gun nest . Nor running with bulls in spain.
In comperison what i have had to indure i would have done both grinning. I am not joking nor boasting. Would have done that in heartbeat.

Its love that gets you.

All powerfull dad. Brain tumor. Half of him didnt work any more. Navy diver, pilot, award winning news man with his pictures.
Taking care of him. Bathing, setting him on a stool washing. Yes the private parts too. Toilet visits. Feeding him because his working left side wasnt his prefered hand. He tried desperatly but made such a mess oh dear god the sadness in his eyes

This one is a bastard. You can not hide. Its batteling akwarness a tad of shame, sprinkled with a lot of i dont wanna. But you do anyway.
It's your fucking dad, you are not supposed to do that.
I did a lot of those but it did cost me. A lot.
So yes. I know.
I grew up fast. Also because mum got terminal at the same time. Bone cancer. 2 times oblivian.
The poor sole's skeloton was slowly eaten away. So much pain. Moving could mean a fracture.
Specially in the rib case but she was so brave.
A warrior. So strong. I brused a rib in a game once. Could not breath nor sneeze. Peanuts.

It was hell looking at dying people and taking care 24/7 . Stopped uni. There was no time to study. Nor the energy.
I am 1.89 and weight in the end 46 kilo. I was toast. I was so fucking tired when it ended.
Empty does not describe it. Way way...way worse.

Now in hind sight i know i should have called in help where ever it came from. Stupid me.

Now you do that. Alert, ask, call in favours, blackmail if you have to. Beg if you have to.
Do not do it on your own unless you have to.
Ask me how i know.
I am still paying.
 
Being the primary care giver is a rough assignment and can effect you on several fronts. Please reach out for assistance. You do not have to to the work alone. You are a special person.
 
Time to share. I have been dealing with my minor health issues I have always had good health. About 2 weeks ago my sister told me she had breast cancer. The doctor said it was caught very early and would me easily treated. A couple of days later they wanted a to do another test. Now they are saying it is bad and scheduled a mastectomy next Friday. It been one thing after another with her most of her life. Diabetics. End stage renal disease, mental health issues and now this. She is a survivor.
 
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