IMO what won the war for the allies was a little known night raid towards the end of 1944. During this infamous bomber raid tins of pressed ham were dropped on the starving German population and this they were FORCED, FORCED I SAY, to eat.
This hideous war-crime must be avenged!
As Fuhrer of the Fourth and a Half Reich I insist on the payment of reparations by the criminal UK government. I have a Cayman Islands account into which payment may be made, I accept Amex, Diners, or Platinum Visa!
FVS Kiwimac