Maestro: your post reminds be of a very proper waiter, came to our table with a teaspoon sticking out of his shirt pocket. asked him about it, he said that a time management company had come in and observed for a week and had made suggestions for faster service. their survey had shown that the teaspoon was the most requested utensil and waiters were constantly running back to the kitchen to get one. carrying one saves that trip. since he was being so honest i asked about the string handing out of his fly. he stated that the company had observed how many times the waiters had to wash their hands after going to the bathroom. now they just tie a string to it and no touching - no washing. I replied that i could see how the string could work forward, but what about the return trip? the waiter replied "Well sir, I can't speak for the other waiters, but I use the spoon"