Not sure what to do anymore... in need of guidance

[Hotntot]

...Well today, he decided he wasn't going and he just sat in the room and said "you can't make me" but they told my parents to leave and I got to have a word with him

after some time i convinced him he needs to get better he said he would go...

Well done for persuading your brother to go Harrison; a great personal achievement to be credited to you.

...Stay close to your siblings so they keep on track. It's like being on an airliner, when the oxygen masks drop, you gotta put your own on first, so you can look after the others.

Loads of very sound advice throughout the thread and, as 'Just Plane Bill' says, remember to look after yourself throughout this. I hope your brother's time away results in success. And when he does return, he'll have to dissociate himself from the 'druggie' crowd and find others with which to share a different set of interests and life goals, of course.

Good luck to you and your family with everything - and - keep us posted.

 

[B-17engineer]

I appreciate all the advice everyone has given me, it means a lot to see people how much people care. He's being shown the facility today (it actually look pretty nice...) and my dad will leave him tonight. I don't know how often I'll be able to talk to him but again I am so proud of him

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

Glad you were able to talk some sense into him Harrison.

I hope things work out for him and your family.

 

[RabidAlien]

Missed this thread yesterday, somehow. Harrison, you've done all you can, and what you've done is exactly what you need to continue to do. 1) Pray for him. 2) Support him. 3) Let him know you love him unconditionally. As has been said many times here, the decision is his. But when he comes back, he's going to need a LOT of help/guidance/support. Its easy to say "no" in a clinic where all anyone ever talks about is getting away from drugs. Its a lot harder when you come home and start running into your old buddies again. He'll need your support there, maybe your help entering a new circle of friends. Stay strong for him, bro, stay strong for your parents, and remember always that WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, BUD!!! You're not alone in this, either.

And you'd BETTER tell us you aced that History test, or we're gonna have to ban you for a week.

 

[Thorlifter]

Just found this thread too. Sorry for the pain your family is going through right now. I am however very happy that you got to talk to your brother and it seems that you are the one to convince him to get help. That could mean that you have more power in talking to him than your parents as he may see them as the "enemy". Stay close to him and stay in as much contact as you can, but sometimes just talk about other things and not this addiction. Talk about your classes, a family pet, or your dopey Jets (Just trying to make you smile)

While I don't have a family member that has gone through this, my ex wife was addicted to alcohol and cocaine and went to rehab 18 months ago so I lived through it because of our children. It's very, very hard and an emotional roller coaster and the final decision is all up to him. Best wishes to your entire family!

 

[ToughOmbre]

Harrison,

Always remember you have the support of all here. Your family is lucky to have a fine young man as yourself as a son and a brother.

Stay strong!

TO

 

[Messy1]

Great job in talking him into going Harrison. You may have saved his life! I am hopeful all works out for everyone in the end. One day he may come to you and thank you for convincing him to go.
I know the feeling of having relationship problems with a brother. My brother and I have a strained relationship. I have trouble talking with my brother as I do not agree with how he and his wife are raising their kids, neither one wants to work, and they live with my parents yet, and I do not see any hope of their situation getting better. It's hard to talk with him as I try to be understanding, but hold a lot of anger towards him and his wife for not taking care of their situation like adults. Different topic, but it makes it hard to be close to my brother.

 

[T Bolt]

I'm pulling for you and your family Harrison.

 

[Catch22]

Your Devils won.

 

[Gnomey]

Glad to see that you managed to get through to him Harrison. The first step (and sometimes the hardest) is to admit you have a problem. Now he has started on the road through rehab, lets hope he continues it and that you all support him as much as possible as he will need that support.

 

[Matt308]

...you gotta love the members of this forum. Good people. Well for majority that is.

 

[B-17engineer]

Again, thank you so much for the support its wonderful that a group of people that only knows me through the internet can be so caring.

I'll be able to talk to him in a day or two after he is settled in. My dads flight is getting in at 11 tonight I think he has just been emotionally drained. The only thing that still bothers me is the same kids who aided him in his addiction are the ones saying "You think this could help him, ha" As much as I want to turn around and beat the living hell out of them I obviously have to show restraint because I can't do that to my family. I told him I'll be there with him every step of the way and I'll even give up football to make sure he is doing the right thing. Also I got called down to guidance today and they told me to come down whenever I feel like talking to them about it. Most of his friends (the good ones) are supportive and even a few came over to talk to my mom and how they're going to help him when he gets back.

He is lucky he has so many caring people because its easy to let him self destruct.

Again thank you all so much, it means a ton to me

 

[pbfoot]

The first thing you gotta do is define a friend

 

[Messy1]

He'll quickly find out who is true friends are when he comes home and tries to stay clean. His true friends will be encouraging him everyday to stick with it. His old druggie buddies will not want anything to do with him, and rightly he should stay away from that group! Anyone who gives him flak for wanting to get and stay sober is obviously not a true friend, and your brother should quickly cut them out of his life. Druggies love the company of fellow druggies, and most will take offense to him trying to improve his life.

 

[B-17engineer]

He'll quickly find out who is true friends are when he comes home and tries to stay clean. His true friends will be encouraging him everyday to stick with it. His old druggie buddies will not want anything to do with him, and rightly he should stay away from that group! Anyone who gives him flak for wanting to get and stay sober is obviously not a true friend, and your brother should quickly cut them out of his life. Druggies love the company of fellow druggies, and most will take offense to him trying to improve his life.

Exactly this, all of his friends have worried about them influencing him when he gets back. I can't let this happen. Should I let him make the decision on his own or give them warning ahead of time he won't be with them?


This is where he is
Alcohol and Drug Treatment Centers - Cumberland Heights Outpatient Treatment Centers

 

[buffnut453]

The world is full of losers only too eager to bring other people down to their level. Whether it's petty negative speaking or, as with these idiots, more harmful. Part of the challenge these days is the the very shallow definition of friend. The above comments are correct - a true friend will only ever try to build you up (and that includes having the courage to tell you you're an idiot when you're doing something stupid). If possible, try to find some of your brother's former associates who really are friends and perhaps, working with your parents, get them to encourage your brother at appropriate times during his treatment. Surrounding him with reinforcement, support and positivity are key to helping him kick his habit.

 

[Messy1]

That is a decision he's going to have to do on his own Harrison. It is definitely a requirement for him if he has any chance of staying sober, to drop any and all friends who are into drugs, alcohol, etc. It is too strong a temptation to risk being exposed too. He is going to have to make that choice, and stand by his convictions and dedication to staying clean. There is no room for any exposure to his old life if he is going to take this seriously, and have a chance to change his life.

 

[pbfoot]

The addiction people your dealing with should be the person to answer that question or try al anon .

 

[Messy1]

Check out the program Intervention on A&E if you have the time Harrison. It is my fiancee's favorite program. You can really learn a lot watching it! some episodes are really interesting.

 

[B-17engineer]

That is a decision he's going to have to do on his own Harrison. It is definitely a requirement for him if he has any chance of staying sober, to drop any and all friends who are into drugs, alcohol, etc. It is too strong a temptation to risk being exposed too. He is going to have to make that choice, and stand by his convictions and dedication to staying clean. There is no room for any exposure to his old life if he is going to take this seriously, and have a chance to change his life.

There's this girl he used to date and was part of the reason he failed his last drug test. He's easily controlled by her and he knows its bad for him but can't tear himself away from her. Its sad.