Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

[Pisis]

You posted this once before...

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

 

[loomaluftwaffe]

no wonder such big pipe organs, and speakers

 

[Pisis]

Jesus and God in heaven.
Door bell rings.
Jesus opens and sees Allah.
"Dad, did you order Shwoarma?"

 

[v2]

Engine indentification...

 

[elmilitaro]

I have a joke....

Billy, Bob, and Joe had died and they were in heaven. St. Peter told them, "Everybody here in heaven is naked, so if you think any bad thoughts your wings will fall of. As you bend to pick them up you will fall into hell." So, Billy was there and he saw a naked woman p***ed him and he had a bad thought and his wings fell off. As he bent over to pick up his wings, he fell down towards hell. Bob was really struggling not to think about anything bad, but as a pair of woman p***ed him, he had a bad thought and his wings fell off. As he bent over to pick up his wings, Joe's wings fell off.



So?

 

[Pisis]

Hmmm, quite funny, but honestly, don't have nothing better?

 

[elmilitaro]

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except Martinez, who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry 1775."

"Very Good"! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth? "

Again, no response except for Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." he said.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do".

She heard a loud whisper. "Screw the Mexicans" "Who said that?" she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie. 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said. "I'm gonna puke".

The teacher glares, and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Martinez says "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister. 1991"

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this! "

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky. 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little ****. if you say anything I'll kill you."

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted. and as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're in Big trouble!"

Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein 2003"


So?

 

[marconi]

LOL.I'm going to send this to my friends.

 

[loomaluftwaffe]

omg lol me too

 

[Gnomey]

LOL

 

[Pisis]

hehehe

 

[elmilitaro]

Thanks.

 

[Pisis]

 

[loomaluftwaffe]

lol

 

[MichaelHenley]

lol! I like the quotes one!

 

[Pisis]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[marconi]

lol, pisis.

A salesman is selling apples at the Kiev market:

- Apples from Chernobyl, apples from Chernobyl!
- Are you crazy, why are you saying they are from Chernobyl, no one will buy them!
- Of course they will! Some for their chief, some for mother-in-law!

 

[Pisis]

You're kidding but a friend of mine was travelling to Moscow via Ukraine's Chernobyl area and he told me in that area native people were ocming onto train and offering GIANT crops, like strawberries of size of a human's head and others...

 

[marconi]

He was joking too, Pisis.Such mutations are quite improbable. Besides, no one will deal with radioactive stuff like that.I've read an article which stated that the Pripyat is totally ransacked in the clean areas but is untouched where the radiation level is not safe.