Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!
- Thread starter Pisis
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Matt308
Glock Perfection
Screaming Eagle
Senior Master Sergeant
that was good sys, heres another:a couple who have sex always do it without the light on. The wife always asks her husband to do it with the lights on. "No I don't like to do it that way" he replies.
So when they are doing it she turns the lights on. she then sees her husband doing her with a dildo. Shocked and surprised she asks him what he is doing. He then says to her "I'll explain the dildo if you explain the kids"
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Screaming Eagle
Senior Master Sergeant
heres another one:
a woman rings her husband up at work. She said "I've got good news and bad news".
Being very busy the husband says "give me the good news".
"Well" says the wife " you will be happy to know that the airbags work....."
a woman rings her husband up at work. She said "I've got good news and bad news".
Being very busy the husband says "give me the good news".
"Well" says the wife " you will be happy to know that the airbags work....."
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Pick out your politician. Carter, Clinton (D*ck), Bush, Rumsfield, Powell, Blair...
[Sorry Adler. Too large.]
[Sorry Adler. Too large.]
Glider
Captain
At the hospital I attend my consultant is Russian, she's very good, knows her stuff and her English is very good but sometimes she doesn't have the right word.
One thing that has been rammed home to me is that with my cancer, is if I feel any irritation in a key area such as under the arms, neck and groin I should tell her immediately. Well under my left arm I had some irritation so of course told her.
Immediately she got one of her junior doctors to pull the curtains around the bed and she checked the key spots.
Then she stood up and said in a loud voice, 'No no there is nothing to worry about, the only thing wrong with your armpit, is that its got nappy rash.'
Silence fell in the ward as everyone heard and one of the other patients muttered ' Thats pretty impressive, disgusting, but impressive'
Everyone fell about laughing, me, the other patients, the nurses and the junior doctors with her, poor woman didn't get it.
In case your wondering, it was a heat rash
One thing that has been rammed home to me is that with my cancer, is if I feel any irritation in a key area such as under the arms, neck and groin I should tell her immediately. Well under my left arm I had some irritation so of course told her.
Immediately she got one of her junior doctors to pull the curtains around the bed and she checked the key spots.
Then she stood up and said in a loud voice, 'No no there is nothing to worry about, the only thing wrong with your armpit, is that its got nappy rash.'
Silence fell in the ward as everyone heard and one of the other patients muttered ' Thats pretty impressive, disgusting, but impressive'
Everyone fell about laughing, me, the other patients, the nurses and the junior doctors with her, poor woman didn't get it.
In case your wondering, it was a heat rash
Glider
Captain
disgusting = d-i-s-g-u-s-t-i-n-g
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
love the desert island joke
Nice ones SE and Glider
Screaming Eagle
Senior Master Sergeant
Thanks Gnomey, I aim to please.
Screaming Eagle
Senior Master Sergeant
Thanks Gnomey, I aim to please.
A fighter pilot goes to a bar after a good days flying. Whilst there he meets a young, attractive and available lady. She is charmed by his tales of aerial combat, high speed flight, and death defying feats. The inevitable happens and they slip away to somewhere more comfortable for an evenings intimate entertainment. Much later that night the pilot drives home to his long suffering wife. On the way he puts on his oxygen mask and draws the straps up as tight as they will go. When he gets home he removes the mask and bravely enters the house. Immediately he tells the wife exactly and honestly what he has been up to that evening. She replies: "Do not lie to me, I can see you have been flying that damned airplane yet again".
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Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
LOOL, you keep posting jokes that could be posted only by a hardcore aviation fan... Professional deformation!
Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth!
This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked sourly at the one whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked sourly at the one whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Now that was funny!!
Haha 
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