A Cop is driving down the freeway when he suddenly hears a guy screaming for help. The policeman stops his car and walks towards the sound. Then behind some trees, the cop finds a guy, butt-naked, cuffed to a tree. The guy says: " Oh thank good you are here officer, a hitch-hiker stole my car, my money and all my clothes". Then the cop replies: "Well, apparently this is not your day", and pulls his zipper down.
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A man and his wife are driving to the top of a tall, winding mountain. The man, who is driving is extremely cautious and slow. His wife is getting impatient, so she makes a deal with him.
"For every mile you go faster, I will take off a piece of clothing!"
Agreeing to the offer, he begins to put the petal to the metal. In a minute, she is completely naked. The husband is too busy looking at his wife to stay concentrated on the road, so they drive off the edge of the mountain. The woman is thrown from the car virtually unharmed, while her husband is crushed under the car with only his leg sticking out.
The woman decides to place her husband's shoe over her ****** to cover herself while she flags down a car. As she approaches the edge of the road, a trucker sees her and stops.
The frantic woman yells, "Help me! Help me! My husband is stuck!"
The trucker then looks at the woman's shoe and replies, "Well... if he's in that far, I don't think I can help."