Some jokes on nations...
Q: How do you sink a Polish battleship?
A: Put it in water.
Q. How do you stop a polish cavalry?
A. You plug off the carousel.
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."
The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
An irishman walks out of a bar.
A Pole walked into a bar and bought a beer.
A Belgian gangster jumps a man in the streets of Brussels, and shouts 'Give me your money!'
To which the man replies, 'Please sir, I'm only Polish!'
To which the Belgian retorts: 'Then give my MY money!'
Q: What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He brakes his nose.
A Turk, an American and a Swede are standing on the top level of the Eiffel tower. Suddenly, the Turk reaches into his pocket and throws down an opal. Surprised, the American and the Swede ask him why, to which the Turk replies that "Oh, we have so many opals in our country". Not wanting to be worse, the American reaches into his pocket and throws down a clip of dollar bills, and when asked, explaining that "Oh, we have so many dollar bills in our country." Then suddenly, the Swede throws down the Turk...
Heaven is a place where:
The chef is French
The cops a British
The lovers are Italian
The mechanics are German
And it's all organized by the Swiss
Hell is a place where:
The chef is British
The cops are German
The lovers are Swiss
The mechanic is French
And it's all organized by the Italians
Q: Why do the French call their fighter the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone.