Nonskimmer
Captain
It was funny just because of your comment at the end. 
Quokes/Jotes...Continued!
- Thread starter Pisis
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- #42
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
I really like nice girls arses.
I do not know too many jokes, I am not sure if I already posted the following here in some other thread:
A very ellegant man, in a real fancy bar, was observing a likewise fancy and sophisticated looking woman drinking a martini -with an olive-.
The man approached the woman, feeling the delicate sound of the jazz quarter playing...once by her side, he asked:
"Excuse me miss, would you have sex with me for 1,000,000 dollars?"
The woman, bewildered, all blushed replied:
"Wha..what???"
Man: "Yes, would you have sex with me for 1,000,000 dollars tonight?"
W: "Ohh...ummmm...1 million? Well, I am not sure...how come...well...yes...oh well I am afraid I would...YEs, let´s go"
M: "Now, would you have sex with me for, say, ten dollars tonight?"
W: "What???? 10 dollars???? Are you out of your mind?? What kind of woman do you think I am?????".
M: "Miss, the kind of woman you are was made clear after your response; now we are just in the process of negotiating the price."
A very ellegant man, in a real fancy bar, was observing a likewise fancy and sophisticated looking woman drinking a martini -with an olive-.
The man approached the woman, feeling the delicate sound of the jazz quarter playing...once by her side, he asked:
"Excuse me miss, would you have sex with me for 1,000,000 dollars?"
The woman, bewildered, all blushed replied:
"Wha..what???"
Man: "Yes, would you have sex with me for 1,000,000 dollars tonight?"
W: "Ohh...ummmm...1 million? Well, I am not sure...how come...well...yes...oh well I am afraid I would...YEs, let´s go"
M: "Now, would you have sex with me for, say, ten dollars tonight?"
W: "What???? 10 dollars???? Are you out of your mind?? What kind of woman do you think I am?????".
M: "Miss, the kind of woman you are was made clear after your response; now we are just in the process of negotiating the price."
- Thread starter
- #45
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
Another one:
A married man walks into his bedrrom, while his wife is in the bed. He carries a goat in his arms. He say: "You see, this is the cow I fuck while you have periods"
The wife replies: "You idiot, can't you just see it's not a cow but a goat?"
"Shut up! Who's talking to you?!"
NOTE: Cow is equal to bitch in Czech.
Nonskimmer
Captain
Now that was cold!
evangilder
"Shooter"
Oh MAN! I think I will skip telling that one to my wife though!
I think I will skip telling that one to my wife though!- Thread starter
- #48
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
I was told this one today... The guy said that the girls like it - im not sure.
cheddar cheese
Major General
Awesome
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
marconi
Airman 1st Class
Officer approaches to a private and tells him:
-Tomorrow General comes to our base for inspection.I want you to paint this rocket.Here's a bucket with paint.
-Yes, sir.
In few hours private realizes that he has painted almost the whole rocket, but he can't paint it's top: it's to high for him.So he throws a bucket at the top of the rocket.The bucket catches on the rocket's nose upside down, paint pours out of the bucket and covers the rocket.The rocket is painted!
But now private can't get his bucket which is stuck at the top of rocket.
-I'll think up something tomorrow.
Next day.General comes to the rocket and sees a bucket at the top of it.
-What the hell is this! - asks he.
-It's a neutron reflector,sir! - answers private.
-I know it's a neutron reflector, I'm asking you why it is not painted!
-Tomorrow General comes to our base for inspection.I want you to paint this rocket.Here's a bucket with paint.
-Yes, sir.
In few hours private realizes that he has painted almost the whole rocket, but he can't paint it's top: it's to high for him.So he throws a bucket at the top of the rocket.The bucket catches on the rocket's nose upside down, paint pours out of the bucket and covers the rocket.The rocket is painted!
But now private can't get his bucket which is stuck at the top of rocket.
-I'll think up something tomorrow.
Next day.General comes to the rocket and sees a bucket at the top of it.
-What the hell is this! - asks he.
-It's a neutron reflector,sir! - answers private.
-I know it's a neutron reflector, I'm asking you why it is not painted!
Nonskimmer
Captain
Yep. That's a general alright.
- Thread starter
- #53
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
cheddar cheese
Major General
Thats good
evangilder
"Shooter"
I knew some officers like that.
- Thread starter
- #58
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
almost like froém the monthy pythons...
- Thread starter
- #59
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
A Jewish one:
Mr. Kohn stands in front of the Butchery. Than he walks in and akss the shop assitant. "How much is the proky knee?" Suddenly a lightning hits the ground near him. He rolls his eyes to the sky and says "What? I can't just ask?"
Mr. Kohn stands in front of the Butchery. Than he walks in and akss the shop assitant. "How much is the proky knee?" Suddenly a lightning hits the ground near him. He rolls his eyes to the sky and says "What? I can't just ask?"
evangilder
"Shooter"
hehe. I am not sure everyone will get that, but I did.
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