Quotes and Jokes 1 (100 Viewers)
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at6
1st Sergeant
As if I would stop buying model kits.
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
at6
1st Sergeant
The teacher calls the class to order. Little Johnny raises his hand when called upon, then announces that he has Covid-19. The teacher immediately ask, "Did you bring enough for everyone?"
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Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Yes said Johnny, I even brought enough for all the teachers too.
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
buffnut453
Captain
My wife said to me today, "Well, we're still in house lockdown so what do you plan on doing today?"
Me: "Nothing."
Wife: "You did nothing all day yesterday."
Me: "I know. I haven't finished yet."
Me: "Nothing."
Wife: "You did nothing all day yesterday."
Me: "I know. I haven't finished yet."
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.
This year's submissions:
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.
This year's submissions:
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
at6
1st Sergeant
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!! There was an add on our forum with pictures titled "The Cutest Bras For Women Over 50" and I started to get excited.
Last edited:
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Last edited:
at6
1st Sergeant
Thank you. Thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fubar57
General
HAPPY ISOLATION EASTER
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