Quotes and Jokes 1 (70 Viewers)

[Valdez]

Sorry if offended - removed

 

[jmcalli2]

SUNDAY MORNING SEX

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

"Any man who says he can see right through women, well, he's missing a lot."
"Whoever named it 'necking' had a poor understanding of anatomy."
"I remember the first time I had sex. I still have the receipt."
- Marx

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Greg Boeser]

View attachment 581339

Moderator!!!!!

 

[syscom3]

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

Moderator!!!!!

What was it?

 

[Greg Boeser]

A string of F bombs!

 

[Valdez]

What was it?

It was the silhouette of a B17 dropping bombs with the letter F on them. I deleted the image and apologized

 

[Greg Boeser]

Sorry if offended - removed

No, my reply was part of the joke.
Sorry.

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

It was the silhouette of a B17 dropping bombs with the letter F on them. I deleted the image and apologized

I doubt anyone would be offended by that.

 

[syscom3]

I doubt anyone would be offended by that.

Especially in this group.

 

[Lucky13]

Oh bugger!

 

[Lucky13]

You can tell, since I'm still part of the forum!!

 

[at6]

Any one easily offended by this group is deep trouble. I've been able to survive without being banned, so weak stomachs beware.

 

[pgeno71]

B-17 dropping F-bombs is quite clever. I'm sorry I missed it. Anybody for a report? Aye.

 

[Lucky13]

I'd like to report the offensee, who reported the offender as to being offensively offensive and tell them to take their offensive attitude and offend somewhere else....

 

[Greg Boeser]

I did not mean to frighten anyone into pulling a very clever image down.
Perhaps had I used this symbol the OP would have understood that my comment was in jest.

 

[Lucky13]

I did not mean to frighten anyone into pulling a very clever image down.
Perhaps had I used this symbol the OP would have understood that my comment was in jest.

We're good, nothing see here or worry about, unless Terry isn't getting his meds on time, then things could turn nasty!
It'll take a lot to rub us the wrong way, unless it's Karl who by mistake gets Terry's meds.....maaan is he handsy!

 

[Airframes]

Terry hasn't had his meds, and hasn't a ******* clue what that image was all about anyway !
Now, where's that bottle of The Macallan ..................

 

[syscom3]