Quotes and Jokes 1 (44 Viewers)
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Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
And when you are done, he poops, and flings it out of the box trying to bury it.
ARTESH
Chief Master Sergeant
Highest Ranking Officer be like: If there is something fun, tell me too!
ARTESH
Chief Master Sergeant
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,074
- May 13, 2018
A retired man went to the job center in downtown The Villages, Florida, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologists Assistant. Interested, he asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read, "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, place them down and carefully wash their private region, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they are ready for the examination. The annual salary in $85,000, and you will have to go to Marion, Ohio." "Good grief, is that where the job is?" "No sir, that's where the end of the line is."
ThomasP
Chief Master Sergeant
LOL! For me the really funny(sad?) aspect is that as soon as I read the text above my brain started trying to figure out just how he would present his argument. I was leaning toward the Monty Python method before I realized what I was doing and slapped myself.
michaelmaltby
Colonel
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
The Basket
Senior Master Sergeant
- 3,712
- Jun 27, 2007
Crimea_River
Marshal
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he was getting out, a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again, would never be the same.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said, "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!", screamed the lawyer. . . "My Rolex!"
As he was getting out, a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again, would never be the same.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said, "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!", screamed the lawyer. . . "My Rolex!"
ARTESH
Chief Master Sergeant
Well, I wanted to post this, much sooner! but I was more interested about "Special Guest" of Pilot's NGO meeting!
Tomorrow morning, I have a very very important Job interview at "teccaf" group! They have just opened a new bureau in Valiasr sq. If I be accepted, this would be a great step towards my new life!
Tomorrow morning, I have a very very important Job interview at "teccaf" group! They have just opened a new bureau in Valiasr sq. If I be accepted, this would be a great step towards my new life!
Glider
Major
A brown bear walk into the pub and goes straight to the bar. Can I have a, a, a, a whisky please. Certainly said the barman, why the large pause?
From the 12 year old son of a work colleague.
From the 12 year old son of a work colleague.
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