Quotes and Jokes 1 (23 Viewers)

[MIflyer]

One day the Lord calls down to Hell just to check up on things. He asks Satan, "How's it going?"

"Great!" says Satan. "We got an engineer and now we got air conditioning, ice tea, beer, ice cream, stock car races, pizza, and elevators to the surface. We're putting in a swimming pool next!"

The Lord replies, "That was a mistake! All the engineers come up here! Send him to me or I'll sue!"

"Look, Almighty," replies Satan, "You better forget that. I only got one engineer but I got ALL the lawyers!"

 

[Wurger]

 

[MIflyer]

Officer: "Sir, do you realize that the maximum speed here is 55 miles per hour?"

Driver: "Well, I wasn't going to be out that long."

 

[special ed]

Officer: "I've been waiting for you all day."
Speeder: "I got here as fast as I could."

 

[special ed]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[ARTESH]

View attachment 641886

Will inform you later!

* they are looking for 10$/day ...

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[michaelmaltby]

 

[SaparotRob]

That sounds like here!

 

[michaelmaltby]

Norm McDonald

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Airframes]

A (long ) variation of one of my favourite jokes.

 

[special ed]

 

[buffnut453]

My middle son bought me a daily calendar of "Dad Jokes" for Christmas....so here are a few of the latest ones:

What breed of dog can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador.

I woke up this morning and found I was lying in the fireplace. Seems I slept like a log!

What happens when you get stuck between two alpacas? You get llamanated.


And, yes, coat is donned ready for the quick getaway!!!!

 

[Airframes]

And so it should be !!!

 

[buffnut453]

And so it should be !!!

You joining me for the 100 yds dash, Terry?