Quotes and Jokes 1 (32 Viewers)

[at6]

After subjecting me to that awful Adele singing Persian, I hope that all of your live stock go gay.

 

[at6]

 

[WARSPITER]

An unfortunate gentleman went hunting and was killed by his prey.

He was following it's tracks when the train hit him from behind.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[NVSMITH]

Report him to OSHA: not wearing safety equipment!!

 

[VBF-13]

 

[javlin]

Did you know that "Adele" is actually Iranian? If you don't believe me, watch her singing in Persian!

We need a punishment logo ...........sheeesh!!

 

[special ed]

It would have been worn out during the unmentionable fighter expert's thread.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MIflyer]

Found this on Youtube:

 

[SaparotRob]

Awwwwww.

 

[special ed]

While looking at a house, my brother asked which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for some time.
She shook her head and said, "I don't keep up with all that stuff."

They live among us

 

[special ed]

My sister has a life saving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.

They live among us

 

[Wayne Little]

Yep they sure do....

 

[special ed]

Allegedly true: traffic camera

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.
He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, although he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he want around the block and passed the same spot driving more slowly and again the camera flashed.
Now he thought this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the camera again. The camera flashed again.
He circled a fourth time still slower. The camera flashed. He did this a fifth time, laughing, as the camera flashed again.

Two weeks later, he received in the mail five tickets for driving without a seat belt.

 

[vikingBerserker]

...and I have worked with a lot of them in the past.

 

[Wurger]

 

[WARSPITER]

My sister has a life saving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.

They live among us

The main concentration seems to be in capital cities.....

 

[special ed]

That's because ambulances take them to hospital, whereas in rural areas, nature takes care of stupid.

 

[ARTESH]

Weekend days in Iran vs. Europa:

In EU:

It's Saturday and Sunday, and people go to church on Sunday.

In Iran:

It's Friday - Monday, as follow:

Friday: Muslims go to Friday pray,
Saturday: Jewish go to Synagogue,
Sunday: Christians go to Church,
Monday: Zoroastrians go to Fire Temple.