Quotes and Jokes 1 (154 Viewers)

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

A man died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter greets him and says, "Welcome. Come walk with me and I'll show you where you'll be staying."

As they're walking along the path he notices clocks on the Golden Fence of Heaven. He asks St. Peter, "What are all those clocks for?"

St. Peter replies, "They're clocks for every person in the world. They click once for each time you lie."

By the time they reach where the man is staying, he asks out of curiosity, "I didn't see any politicians' clocks. Where are they kept?"

St. Peter calmly replies, "People here use them as fans."

 

[Wurger]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wurger]

 

[buffnut453]

View attachment 684692

I'll gladly direct them. Follow me, ladies!!! Oh...and did I tell you about the non-monetary admission fee?

 

[vikingBerserker]

I don't know, that's a lot of women to disappoint in a short time.

 

[buffnut453]

I don't know, that's a lot of women to disappoint in a short time.

You think I care how they feel?

 

[Lucky13]

A warrior princess and Borg walk into a bar…

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[WARSPITER]

View attachment 684716

If a computer programmer waves at you does that make it a macrowave ?

 

[Wurger]

 

[special ed]

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