Quotes and Jokes 1 (215 Viewers)

[special ed]

What's the black stuff between elephants toes?

Slow natives.

 

[Crimea_River]

 

[VBF-13]

Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf. At a par three, an island green in the middle of a lake, Jesus and Moses have have found the green with their shots. The old man can't decide which club to use so the other two walk toward the green. At the lake Moses raises his club and the water parts and he walks onto the green. Jesus walks across the water and onto the green. The old man is finally ready and tees off. He mishits it and the ball is heading for the water. Before the ball submerges a fish leaps up and grabs the ball but before it can fall back an eagle swoops from the sky, grabs the fish, soars above the green and the fish drops the ball straight into the hole. Jesus looks back and shouts, IF YOU DON'T STOP MESSING AROUND, DAD, WE ARE NOT PLAYING ANYMORE!

 

[special ed]

Why do elephants wear tennis shoes?

So they don't hurt their feet jumping out of trees.

 

[special ed]

The archeologist crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.

 

[special ed]

It's a damned shame I can remember this stuff from high school, but I can't find my glasses from this morning!

 

[Greg Boeser]

Did you look on top of your head?

 

[special ed]

Nothing there, not even hair. Nothing inside either.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

𝓟𝓸𝓸𝓻 𝓠𝓾𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓮, 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓱, 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓹𝓾𝓫, 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓬𝓱!

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Greg Boeser]

I knew it!

 

[buffnut453]

View attachment 692824

Same-same for the pictures of the moon landing in 1969, right?

 

[Greg Boeser]

Same-same for the pictures of the moon landing in 1969, right?

Duuuuh!!!!
Then the Chinese bought the set and has been using it since 2013.

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[Gnomey]