Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)

[javlin]

Probably been around at one point but it did make me laugh.

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Larry's whore...

 

[MiTasol]

 

[MiTasol]

Javlins post reminded me of this old one
A teacher asked her class to write a story containing the word fun three times and the word worry three times.

After a short time little Johnny put up his hand. When the teacher asked what was wrong he said he was finished so she walked up to read it.
Fun. Fun. Fun
Worry! Worry!! Worry!!!

She asked him to explain so he said Fun, period, fun, period, fun, no period
Worry, Worry, Worry!

 

[MiTasol]

operators exam

 

[at6]

Probably been around at one point but it did make me laugh.

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Larry's whore...

How did you know my name and my greatest dream?

 

[GrauGeist]

operators exam

Ok, so that beats my ability to flip a nickel onto the tine of a forklift...

 

[A4K]

The old school jokes..

There's a classroom of kids, and the teacher is going through the alphabet. One boy is busting to go the toilet, but has been hanging on. Finally it's too much and he puts up his hand to be dismissed. 'Yes Johnny?' Says the teacher. 'Miss, I REALLY need to go to the toilet!"
'Well alright' she says 'but first I want to tell me the alphabet'
So he says it as quickly as he can: 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO...QRSTUVWXYZ!'
The teacher says 'Where's the 'P'?'
He says 'Running down my leg'

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

Sure it fits! Driver transports giant wooden pole with tiny Fiat

Who needs a ute, or a truck, or even roof racks? Not this Fiat driver in Poland...

www.drive.com.au

 

[Gnomey]

 

[SaparotRob]

That's a lot of Zlotys!

 

[Airframes]

 

[Greg Boeser]

View attachment 712991

What went wrong?

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[GTX]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

More than 150 years ago.....Dostoievski was so right.

 

[MiTasol]

This court document is worth a read.

Short summary. Idiot lays charges against neighbour for giving him the one finger salute. Equally stupid, to me, cops take saluter to court. After testimony by the self proclaimed victim the the prosecutor "humbly invited the Court to enter an acquittal". Yep the prosecutor.

In his judgement Judge Dennis Galiatsatos said "To be abundantly clear, it is not a crime to give someone the finger. Flipping the proverbial bird is a God-given, Charter enshrined right that belongs to every red-blooded Canadian. The complainants are free to clutch their pearls in the face of such an insult. However, the police department and the 9-1-1 dispatching service have more important priorities to address."