Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)
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MiTasol
2nd Lieutenant
GrauGeist
Generalfeldmarschall zur Luftschiff Abteilung
GrauGeist
Generalfeldmarschall zur Luftschiff Abteilung
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
DBII
Senior Master Sergeant
Attachments
GrauGeist
Generalfeldmarschall zur Luftschiff Abteilung
"Iceman?!! Jeez, didn't recognize you under all that hair!! How they hanging, dude?"
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought, as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper gaining on him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly, he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this." And pulled over to await the state trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the state trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused, then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper gaining on him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly, he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this." And pulled over to await the state trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the state trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused, then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
GrauGeist
Generalfeldmarschall zur Luftschiff Abteilung
At the Church confessional:
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
Lucky13
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special ed
1st Sergeant
- 4,847
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Sergeant
- 4,847
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Sergeant
- 4,847
- May 13, 2018
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