Quotes and Jokes

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From Disorder in the Court;

COUNSEL: I would like to say that the reason that I did not show up to court is that before I am a lawyer I am a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ and everything I do is subject to Him, and He told me....
THE COURT: Who told you?
COUNSEL: Jesus Christ.
THE COURT: He told you?
COUNSEL: That I should not go to court on Thursday or Friday and that He instructed me not to even call in on Friday, and that is why I did not come in, and when He allows me to
come in, I come in. I go where He allows me to go and I do what He tells me to do. I cannot let any court supersede that . That is a right set up by the founding fathers
of this country.
THE COURT: What is the message today?
COUNSEL: The message today was to come in.
THE COURT: As of now, the message is going to be that You are going into custody.
 
More Disorder in the Court-

THE COURT: And on the facts presented in this trial---and not intending to be patronizing of one side or the other or unnecessarily glib---given the state of the record at this point, if one of the jurors was confronted with a dangerous situation and had to put 20 cents in the phone to call for help, the probability is they would call the Hell's Angels as opposed to the law enforcement officers that were involved in this case.
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ATTORNEY: Okay. Did he tell you that he located Victim Four's vehicle on Catalina Street?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: When did he do that?
WITNESS: Let's see. Approximately about fifteen minutes after I made my broadcast.
ATTORNEY: Did he say that he saw two male Hispanics walking southbound on Catalina Street?
WITNESS: Not during our broadcast, no. That was after we were at the station and got the story together.

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more another day
ed
 

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