Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

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life.jpg
 
Disorder in the court:

ATTORNEY: What do you do as a clerk?
WITNESS: I work as a cashier and, you know, sometimes I make the orders and, you know, deliveries sometimes. Everything in the store.
ATTORNEY: Now, directing your attention again to June 16, did something unusual happen inside the liquor store on that day?
WITNESS: No. Everything was regular.
ATTORNEY: Everything was normal?
WITNESS: Normal. Yeah.
ATTORNEY: Well, was there a body found inside the liquor store on that day?
WITNESS: Yeah, that's right.
-------
THE COURT: I understand we have a short witness next?
COUNSEL: Yes. (Calls witness) Sir, would you face the jury and tell the jury how tall are you?
WITNESS: Five nine.
COUNSEL: Thank you, sir. Those are all the questions I have.

til later
ed
 
I was discussing the need for contraception with my brother and his wife if they did not want to have a child. She stated she did not need to use contraception. I said that she would, and she promptly replied "No I don't, I'm infertile. Just like my mother.

To be fair, that stopped the argument.
 

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