Quotes and Jokes (7 Viewers)
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Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,090
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,090
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,090
- Mar 26, 2007
Lucky13
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ThomasP
Senior Master Sergeant
A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....He in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own fucking blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.
"Good," she replied. "Get your own fucking blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
ThomasP
Senior Master Sergeant
Putin arrives in Mongolia and goes through customs
Customs Officer: Name?
Putin: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
Customs Officer: Occupation?
Putin: No, just visiting for now.
Customs Officer: Name?
Putin: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
Customs Officer: Occupation?
Putin: No, just visiting for now.
ThomasP
Senior Master Sergeant
An old couple are sitting in church when the old woman turns to her husband and whispers "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?"
The Husband says "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
The Husband says "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
ThomasP
Senior Master Sergeant
My wife: I want to donate some of my clothes to the hungry.
Me: Whoever can fit your clothes definitely isn't hungry.
EMT: And that's the last thing you remember?
Me: Whoever can fit your clothes definitely isn't hungry.
EMT: And that's the last thing you remember?
ThomasP
Senior Master Sergeant
When I was little, a strange old man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.
Now, after devoting my life to Inventing a time machine of my own, I'm finally ready to go back to when he was little and punch him! Then we'll see how he likes it!
Now, after devoting my life to Inventing a time machine of my own, I'm finally ready to go back to when he was little and punch him! Then we'll see how he likes it!
