Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules

2740...2741...2742...2743...2744...
 

Attachments

  • d74b765036b380f216bff116e1c20dd0.jpg
    d74b765036b380f216bff116e1c20dd0.jpg
    116 KB · Views: 124
Hey, how'd you get ahold of my pic?? :lol:




New Internet terminal-ogy:

Dot Con: The process of making money from the internet.

Faceless: What happens when you get either vindictive or drunk and post on Facebook, someone finds it offensive and your account is suspended.

Game-Shame: The feeling of slight embarrassment that occurs when you realise what you thought was about half an hour of game play was actually about five hours, especially when you have inadvertently missed an event to which, under normal circumstances, you would have assigned a higher priority than game play.

Intermet: Ending friendly e-mail conversations with a new acquaintance: "nice to have intermet you." A smiley emoticon is optional.

Meanderthal: Someone who tries to drive or walk while using a mobile phone.

Memail: E-mail sent to yourself to remind you to do things. Everyone else spends all day reading and sending e-mail to each other, but you prefer yours to be private.

Nerds-Nest: The tangle of cables behind your TV or desk.

Plugthug: Someone who'd kill for access to recharging facilities.

Sheeple: People who have to go out and buy the latest gadget (usually one whose name starts with an "i") just because they believe that everyone else is getting one, and they can't bear the thought of being left out.

Spamnesia: Failing to reply to e-mails from friends, because your computer thinks they're spam.
 
NEW DEFINITIONS
1. DOOHICKEY:
A. Female........Any part under a car's hood.
B. Male..........The strap fastener on a woman's bra

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
A. Female........Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
B. Male..........Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
A. Female........The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
B. Male...........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
A. Female.........A desire to get married and raise a family.
B. Male...........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
A. Female.........A good movie, concert, play or book.
B. Male...........Anything that can be done while drinking.

6. FLATULENCE (flachulens) n
A. Female.........An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
B. Male...........A source of entertainment, self-expression male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
A. Female........The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
B. Male..........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
A. Female........A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
B. Male..........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes
 
A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...
No wait... Sorry..

I'm thinking of whiskey. :oops:
Never mind.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back