Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

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A judge tells the defendant, "You're charged with attacking your boss with a hammer."

"You jerk!" yells a voice from 
the back of the courtroom.

"You're also charged with attacking a bartender with a hammer," 
says the judge.

"Jerrrrkkkk!" bellows the same man.

"Sir," says the judge, "one more outburst, and I'll charge you with contempt."

"I'm sorry, Your Honor," says the man. "But I've been this jerk's neighbor for ten years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
 
The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the 'Style Invitational'. The requirements one week were to use the two words 'Lewinsky' (the Intern) and 'Kaczynski' (the Unibomber) in the same limerick. The winning entries (below) were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, without bleeps or alterations.

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
Twas 'Hail to the Chief'
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski


Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky.


And the winning entry:

Lewinksy and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.
 
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