Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)

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I'm feeling like I'm on a roll, lol...

Wife and her husband are strolling down Michigan Avenue, Chicago's "Magnificent Mile," early one morning after the stores had closed, and they come to the first store, and there's this cute little hat in the window, and the wife goes, "Honey, will you get me that cute little hat in the window?" And the husband looks down at the price tag, then reaches in his pocket, pulls out a brick, throws it through the window, and goes in and gets her the hat.

So, they come to the next store, and there's this cute little dress in the window, and the wife goes, "Honey, will you get me that cute little dress in the window?" And the husband looks down at the price tag, then reaches in his pocket, pulls out another brick, throws it through the window, and goes in and gets her the dress.

So, they come to the last store, and there's this big, beautiful fur coat in the window, and the wife goes, "Honey, will you get me that big, beautiful fur coat in the window?" And the husband looks down at the price tag, then turns to the wife and goes, "What do you think I'm made of, bricks?"
 
Subject: : The Old Man and the Beaver





The Old Man and the Beaver – Food for Thought



An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...



The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things
are great and I've never felt better.'



I now have a 30 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. "So what do
you think about that Doc ?"



The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a
story.



"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season."



One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he
accidentally picked up his

walking cane instead of his gun."



"As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at
the water's edge..



He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the
magnificent creature.



Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his
favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."



"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.



Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.



The 86-year-old said , "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."



The doctor replied , "My point exactly."
 
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