Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)

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Ok, there doesn't seem to be any prohibition on bad jokes so here goes.
A bear walks into a bar. The bartender says "whatleyahave". The bear answers" I'll have a rum and............................................................
............coke. Bartender says" why the big pause? Bear says" i dunno, I was born with em. <-----------------rim shots here.
 
If there were no bad jokes, there would be no good jokes. More bad ones please.
 
A white horse walks into a bar and says "A pint of Guinness please".
The barman says "We've got a whisky named after you".
"What, Eric ?" replied the horse

Same horse goes to another bar, and asks for the same.
Barman says "**** me, a talking horse !"

I've got me coat, hat and the taxi is on it's way ............................
 
A repair man is working on one of the big cats cages at the local zoo.
At lunchtime, he leaves his tools, and goes to the zoo cafe. When he returns, his tool box is still there, but all of his tools have gone, so he calls the head zoo keeper to complain.
"What do you expect," the keeper said, "that's the Jaguar's cage."
"So what ?" the repair man replied.
"Well, it's a tool eater Jaguar !"
Two liter Jag ................ never mind, I've got me coat !!
 
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