at6
1st Sergeant
A Spanish prostate exam?
Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)
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Lucky13
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Lucky13
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at6
1st Sergeant
michaelmaltby
Colonel
Zimbabwe's ex-President Robert Mugabe will be remembered for his wit and colourful language.
These are some of the raw, hilarious quotes
1) _When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend._
2) _If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty._
3) _When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious._
4) _Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow._
5) _Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on, rather than send it to your mum, and you realise witchcraft is real._
6) _If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first._
7) _Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end._
8) _Interviewer: "Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?"_
_Robert Mugabe: "Where are they going?"_
9) _Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tires; If people still use black color for bad luck and white for peace; If people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes to funerals; As long as those who don't pay their bills are blacklisted and not 'whitelisted'… But I don't care as long as I still use the white tissue paper to wipe my ass! With that only, I will always be very fine._
10) _No African girl will choose six pack over six cars.. So stop going to the gym and go to work!_
10) _How do you convince the upcoming generations that education is the key to success when we are surrounded by poor graduates and rich criminal?_
11) _lf Adam & Eve were Chinese we would have been in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten thè snake._
12) _A person can love you and still cheat, just like we love God and still sin._
13) _It's better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a church thinking about beer._
14) _Being kissed does not mean you are loved, ask Jesus about Judas._
15) _If I am given a chance to travel through time, I will go back to 1946, find Donald Trump's father and give him a condom._
--
These are some of the raw, hilarious quotes
1) _When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend._
2) _If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty._
3) _When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious._
4) _Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow._
5) _Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on, rather than send it to your mum, and you realise witchcraft is real._
6) _If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first._
7) _Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end._
8) _Interviewer: "Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?"_
_Robert Mugabe: "Where are they going?"_
9) _Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tires; If people still use black color for bad luck and white for peace; If people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes to funerals; As long as those who don't pay their bills are blacklisted and not 'whitelisted'… But I don't care as long as I still use the white tissue paper to wipe my ass! With that only, I will always be very fine._
10) _No African girl will choose six pack over six cars.. So stop going to the gym and go to work!_
10) _How do you convince the upcoming generations that education is the key to success when we are surrounded by poor graduates and rich criminal?_
11) _lf Adam & Eve were Chinese we would have been in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten thè snake._
12) _A person can love you and still cheat, just like we love God and still sin._
13) _It's better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a church thinking about beer._
14) _Being kissed does not mean you are loved, ask Jesus about Judas._
15) _If I am given a chance to travel through time, I will go back to 1946, find Donald Trump's father and give him a condom._
--
michael rauls
Tech Sergeant
- 1,679
- Jul 15, 2016
Some of those are actually pretty good. My guess that Mugabe will be remembered for brutality and economic miss management/hyper inflation however.
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
I as not a fan of the man, but some of those are pretty darn good.
fubar57
General
Prop Duster
Airman
