Quotes and Jokes
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michaelmaltby
Colonel
Hong Kong's Apple Daily to publish final issue Thursday after spate of arrests
The paper, owned by now-jailed media tycoon and pro-democracy activist Jimmy Lai, has faced intense pressure from the government.
Some of these are getting way too political (from several people).
This is a reminder. No politics. Don't get the joke thread shut down.
This is a reminder. No politics. Don't get the joke thread shut down.
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at6
1st Sergeant
I know why some people are afraid to get vaccinated. Guys are worried that when the drop their shorts the plums will have become prunes and all that is left of the banana is a skin.
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,372
- Mar 26, 2007
Why not give those too political posters a time out in stead of closing threads?
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,716
- May 13, 2018
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Sir, I see you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full time employment. You explain this saying you win money gambling. The IRS finds that unbelievable." "I'm a great gambler and I can prove it. How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks a moment and says, "Go ahead." Grandpa says, " I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks again for a moment, then says, "It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it." The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can see that Grandpa is not blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor realizes he has wagered and lost three thousand with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. As the auditor gets nervous, Grandpa asks, "Do you want to go double or nothing? I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that waste basket on the other side and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious, but after looking carefully decides there is no way this old man could possibly manage that, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the waste basket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy knowing he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" asks the auditor. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning when Grandpa told me he has been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you would be happy about it."
I would rather not do either...
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,372
- Mar 26, 2007
Yes but i have seen threads closed because of the mis behaviour of 1. Seems a bit harsh to close a thread because of 1 rotten apple in the basket.
Not complaining, just observing mind you.
Each thread/situation is slightly different. The moderating staff discusses each situation and determines what appropriate action to take.
Usually when a thread is closed, it is only temporary. The thread is cleaned up, and then re-opened,
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,372
- Mar 26, 2007
Again no critique, but i do not see the point is closing a thread when in my eyes it would be simpler to put the naughty one on ice for a while. But as i am of no importance in the matter and i do like this board and how it it run i will say no more. Thank you mods for keeping this board as it is.
at6
1st Sergeant
Just send the offenders over to Mistress Claudette's for a vigorous spanking. Oh. I would be over there all of the time.
buffnut453
Captain
I'm still not laughing. If you all want to discuss the current world situation, please just start another thread. I come to this thread to have my mood lightened, not darkened.
michaelmaltby
Colonel
ARTESH
Chief Master Sergeant
Ok, last time...
This a quote and joke thread. Not a thread to discuss real world politics, or terrorism.
This a quote and joke thread. Not a thread to discuss real world politics, or terrorism.
