Quotes and Jokes

[Wurger]

 

[michaelmaltby]

 

[MIflyer]

A friend of mine got about 25 calls the other day from scammers - all with heavy foreign accents - claiming to be the Social Security Admin. He cussed them out.

I told him that instead he should tell them their car's warranty is about to expire and if they will give him their credit card number he'll take care of that problem.

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Greg Boeser]

When I was stationed at Fort Stewart we were working in the motor pool one day when one of the mechanics, trying to seat a new tire on a rim, overinflated it until it exploded. The tire blew off the rim, struck the unfortunate mechanic in the face, shattering his jaw and knocking him unconscious, sailed all the way to the ceiling of repair bay, where it left a skid mark, fell back down, striking another soldier, breaking his arm. My squad leader was also the company safety NCO, so had to fill out the accident report.
It read: Sgt Snuffy got tired, so he laid down.

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wurger]

 

[ARTESH]

View attachment 638804

If they had those, they were not "Politicians", they were "Militarians"!

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Greg Boeser]

Just stay calm. A mental health intervention team is on its way.

 

[ARTESH]

View attachment 638872

No Donkey Shoot!

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.
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Oops! Sorry! I meant Don Quichotte

 

[ARTESH]

I believe that the Oscar for the most poetic "shut up" in history goes to this half verse by Kalim Kashani:

"Silence has a reward; why don't you take it ?!"

Kalim Kashani - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Gnomey]

 

[ARTESH]

Translation:'

US$: 27000 Tomans

Carnot, 1 Kg: 30000 Tomans

Turn whatever "Dollar" you have into Carrots!

 

[Greg Boeser]

I believe that the Oscar for the most poetic "shut up" in history goes to this half verse by Kalim Kashani:

"Silence has a reward; why don't you take it ?!"

I am so going to steal that!!

 

[ARTESH]

I am so going to steal that!!

Permission Granted!