Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

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One day the Lord calls down to Hell just to check up on things. He asks Satan, "How's it going?"

"Great!" says Satan. "We got an engineer and now we got air conditioning, ice tea, beer, ice cream, stock car races, pizza, and elevators to the surface. We're putting in a swimming pool next!"

The Lord replies, "That was a mistake! All the engineers come up here! Send him to me or I'll sue!"

"Look, Almighty," replies Satan, "You better forget that. I only got one engineer but I got ALL the lawyers!"
 
My middle son bought me a daily calendar of "Dad Jokes" for Christmas....so here are a few of the latest ones:

What breed of dog can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador.

I woke up this morning and found I was lying in the fireplace. Seems I slept like a log!

What happens when you get stuck between two alpacas? You get llamanated.


And, yes, coat is donned ready for the quick getaway!!!!
 
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