Quotes and Jokes

[vikingBerserker]

You have to love and respect British humor

 

[special ed]

A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know,' he said bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
"What's wrong son?"
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There is no Easter Bunny' talk. At seven , I got the 'There is no Tooth Fairy' talk. When I was eight you hit me with the 'There is no Santa Claus' speech. If you're going to tell me grown ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing to live for."

 

[Greg Boeser]

Asked by a 12 year old:
"Hey, Siri, how much trouble will I get in for looking up how to make crystal meth on my school computer?"

 

[ThomasP]

I was house sitting for some friends the last 2 weeks. I was binge watching a series on Netflix and the Siri unit started responding to questions asked by the actors in the series. It was really funny, particularly when Siri started speaking Finnish.

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[special ed]

This may have been here:

 

[Greg Boeser]

DUDE! You got ripped off! I got mine at Home Depot for, like, 4 bucks.

 

[special ed]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[buffnut453]

View attachment 645416

The absolute ULTIMATE in FAKE NEWS!!!!

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[ARTESH]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Greg Boeser]

Foreign types with their hookah pipes sing wayo wayo wa-a-ayo

 

[buffnut453]

Foreign types with their hookah pipes sing wayo wayo wa-a-ayo

And all of a sudden I'm thinking about Susanna Hoffs again!

 

[special ed]