Quotes and Jokes

[cherry blossom]

I have decided to contribute a puzzle:

Why do some mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?

 

[ARTESH]

I really didn't know that the Eiffel Tower is in Persian Gulf ...

 

[WARSPITER]

I have decided to contribute a puzzle:

Why do some mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Know that one but it doesn't add up... unless you muck around a bit with software.

 

[cherry blossom]

Yes it is more ancient computer scientists than mathematicians who know that Oct 31 (Octal) is Dec 25.

 

[michaelmaltby]

the 'broom-star' girl

 

[WARSPITER]

Yes it is more ancient computer scientists than mathematicians who know that Oct 31 (Octal) is Dec 25.

Still clever though

 

[michaelmaltby]

the Beijing 'wink'

 

[GTX]

 

[special ed]

I found my Bob Stevens books while searching for 2001 Air Classics. I have posted my very favorite of his cartoons:

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wurger]

 

[special ed]

 

[Greg Boeser]

View attachment 646640

Ja!

 

[Wurger]

 

[michaelmaltby]

Voltaire — 'Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.

 

[Capt. Vick]

 

[vikingBerserker]

That would be awesome!

 

[special ed]

 

[VBF-13]

Bob gets stopped for speeding one day by a sheriff's deputy. The deputy walked to Bob's car and asked to see his driver's license. Bob said, "Deputy I can't show you my license." "Why not," asked the deputy? "It's expired, and if I show it to you, I'll get a ticket," said Bob. So the deputy said, "Show me your proof of insurance." Bob said, "I can't do that, either." Again, the deputy asked why, and Bob replied, "It's in the glove box, and I also have a loaded gun in there. If you see the gun, I'll have to pay a huge fine." The deputy is getting really suspicious by now, and tells Bob to open the trunk. Bob said, "I can't do that." The deputy once again asks why, and Bob says, "I have a suitcase full of illegal drugs in there, and I don't want to go to jail." By now the deputy is getting angry, and tells Bob he's calling the sheriff, and to stay in his car until the sheriff arrives. Soon the sheriff arrives, and after being briefed by the deputy, walks up to Bob's car and demands to see his driver's license. Bob complies, and the sheriff sees it's current. The sheriff then demands to see proof of insurance, which Bob retrieves from the glove box, while the sheriff observes closely. It's also current, and the sheriff didn't see any gun in the glove box. The sheriff then orders Bob to open the trunk, and then tells him to open the suitcase. Bob does as directed and all that's found are clothes and personal belongings. With a puzzled look on his face, the sheriff says to Bob, "My deputy said your license is expired, but it isn't. He also said you had a gun in the glove box, but there isn't one." Then the sheriff said the deputy told him there was a suitcase full of illegal drugs in the trunk, but the only thing in the suitcase was clothes and personal belongings. Then the sheriff said, "I'm really confused." Bob replied, "I suppose next you're gonna tell me that big liar also said I was speeding!"

 

[SaparotRob]

Bob gets stopped for speeding one day by a sheriff's deputy. The deputy walked to Bob's car and asked to see his driver's license. Bob said, "Deputy I can't show you my license." "Why not," asked the deputy? "It's expired, and if I show it to you, I'll get a ticket," said Bob. So the deputy said, "Show me your proof of insurance." Bob said, "I can't do that, either." Again, the deputy asked why, and Bob replied, "It's in the glove box, and I also have a loaded gun in there. If you see the gun, I'll have to pay a huge fine." The deputy is getting really suspicious by now, and tells Bob to open the trunk. Bob said, "I can't do that." The deputy once again asks why, and Bob says, "I have a suitcase full of illegal drugs in there, and I don't want to go to jail." By now the deputy is getting angry, and tells Bob he's calling the sheriff, and to stay in his car until the sheriff arrives. Soon the sheriff arrives, and after being briefed by the deputy, walks up to Bob's car and demands to see his driver's license. Bob complies, and the sheriff sees it's current. The sheriff then demands to see proof of insurance, which Bob retrieves from the glove box, while the sheriff observes closely. It's also current, and the sheriff didn't see any gun in the glove box. The sheriff then orders Bob to open the trunk, and then tells him to open the suitcase. Bob does as directed and all that's found are clothes and personal belongings. With a puzzled look on his face, the sheriff says to Bob, "My deputy said your license is expired, but it isn't. He also said you had a gun in the glove box, but there isn't one." Then the sheriff said the deputy told him there was a suitcase full of illegal drugs in the trunk, but the only thing in the suitcase was clothes and personal belongings. Then the sheriff said, "I'm really confused." Bob replied, "I suppose next you're gonna tell me that big liar also said I was speeding!"

Really should get a bacon.