Quotes and Jokes (7 Viewers)

Greg Boeser · Jun 13, 2022

Sounds drafty.

Ralph Haus · Jun 13, 2022

Greg Boeser said:
Sounds drafty.

When train was underway, sometimes downdraft, sometimes updraft; caution advised when standing above.

GTX · Jun 13, 2022

syscom3 · Jun 13, 2022

For you fisherman.

Gnomey · Jun 13, 2022

special ed · Jun 13, 2022

To my darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the Ford F-150 when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home and when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake while I was talking on my cell phone.
The garage door is slightly bent but the Ford F-150 fortunately came to a stop when it bumped into your Ferrari. I missed our bikes.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kindhearted personality, you will forgive me.
You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.
I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
P.S.: Your girlfriend phoned, she is pregnant.

Lucky13 · Jun 14, 2022

special ed · Jun 14, 2022

special ed said:
To my darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the Ford F-150 when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home and when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake while I was talking on my cell phone.
The garage door is slightly bent but the Ford F-150 fortunately came to a stop when it bumped into your Ferrari. I missed our bikes.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kindhearted personality, you will forgive me.
You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.
I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
P.S.: Your girlfriend phoned, she is pregnant.

View attachment 673642

This post has a real life similar occasion.
Back about 20+ years ago, I and my late brother in law used to haunt a particular auto salvage yard looking for old cars to collect. One day, the boss's son drove in with a beautiful 1940 Chevrolet club coupe on the flat bed. It appeared original except for it's chrome rims, however the entire front deck, hood, fenders, grill etc hinged forward as in big rig style, revealing a very chromed Chev 350. The appearance close up looked stock 1940 except for the wheels and the perfect light silvery lavender metalflake paint. The story was the wife sold it for junk for $100 to Bill's yard. She was also selling tools, fishing rods, reels and other items very, very cheep. It seems hubby ran off with a trophy woman abandoning everything. The universal comment around the yard was, "She must have been something."

Greg Boeser · Jun 14, 2022

A woman, who worked in our office, was complaining about her poor choice in men one day. "Why do men always cheat?!" She demanded.
My brother looked at her, smiled, and said, "All men don't cheat, only the dumb ones. One woman is enough of a headache. Why multiply it?"