Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Greg Boeser]

Father Flanagan died after a long ministry. As he waits in line at the Pearly Gates, he notices the man in front of him is dressed in flip flops, cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, hair slicked back, and mirror sunglasses perched on his nose. As they reach the front of the line, St. Peter asks the sunglass wearing guy, "So, what's your name and what did you do in life that would warrant you entering Heaven?" The man answered, "Jock Simpson, pilot with Aloha Airlines out of Hilo, Hawaii!" St. Peter exclaims, "Take this silk robe and golden staff, and go right in!" As the priest approaches St. Peter, he is asked the same question. "Father Patrick Flanagan, Pastor at Our Lady of Grace, Pasadena, California for 42 years." Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and go right in!" commands the saint. "Wait!" cries the priest. "I gave my whole life to the service of God and all I get is a cheap robe and staff?"
"Look, Padre," explained the saint. "Here we reward on merit. When you preached, people slept. When he flew, people prayed!"

 

[Frog]

DISARMAMENT TREATY : document by which the signing partners agree to get rid of their obsolete armament.

 

[MIflyer]

DISARMAMENT TREATY : document by which the signing partners agree to get rid of their obsolete armament.

And which allows one side to stock up on Playboy magazines when they come to do the required inspections.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wurger]

 

[vikingBerserker]

Dam, that is so not right!

 

[Snautzer01]

Attractive fart dispenser.

 

[MIflyer]

I'd hate to think what the front of the shirt looks like.....

 

[ThomasP]

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wurger]

 

[ThomasP]

 

[Wurger]