Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)

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They probably wanted to make it dual Metric/English units and figured they would round it off to 40 inches.

A few decades back the USAF realized that they were using torque wrenches with dual SAE and Metric calibrations and it was very easy to read the wrong scale. So they got rid of all torque wrenches with dual calibrations.
 
A fellow who had been away for about a year walked into the diner/donut shop, and was greeted by his old friends seated.
"What's been happening while I was gone?"
They all began telling him of incidents until Howard said, "Boudreaux's duck died,"
They all stopped talking and listened.
Howard began, "Well you know, last spring while Boudreaux was fishing, a baby duck swam up to his boat. He couldn't leave it there alone, so he scooped it up in his net.
He took care of the duck and it became a good friend and companion.
He then got an idea. When the duck grew up it could be his live decoy in the fall duck season.
He began to teach the duck to dive under the water when he stood in the boat with his shotgun, fired his three shots, and surfaced.
The practice went well and duck season came.
They went out for the first day of the season.
As the ducks flew over, Boudreaux stood in the boat.
His duck dived under.
He fired the shotgun.
The gun jammed.
The duck drowned.
 
Back in the 1970s, the company I was working for, being international, decided all designs were to be metric. A design I was creating required various stainless tubing sizes, one being 10mm in diameter . Orders went out for 100mm lengths. A few weeks later a couple of large tractor trailers showed up at the receiving dock. Yep. Seems the vendors were not quite yet on board with metric sizing; all the tubing was in inches. Not sure who ate that one or what happened to the tubing but we just could not get any of it to fit into our typewriter designs.
 
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.
After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...
"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley ...YOU RIDE IT!!".......

 
'metric' tubing/pipe is generally only nominally metric.
i.e. 6mm pipe is actually 1/4", 50mm pipe is really 2"

Unless you're working on a purely European design, its almost impossible to get hold of.
We had a Fouga Magister that needed new brake lines fitted, that were proper 6mm line, and everyone who said they had 6mm copper pipe, when measured, found it to be 6.25mm.
 

Only metric tubing made to ANZ (Australian and New Zealand) standards.

The stuff I have bought from the USA is real metric.
 
Sorry - misread your post as industrial tubing - I know read the FULL @#$%^& wording idjit

I bought genuine metric aircraft plumbing - tubing, flex hose and all the necessary fittings - from Aviall Germany for the MiG-15s, and I bought it through Aviall Melbourne.

Once I identified the part numbers and that Aviall Germany stocked it Aviall Melbourne did the rest so no stuffing around with foreign currencies and freight.
 
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Darn, I'm older than dirt!!
Someone asked the other day,,,,,,,,,,,,,
'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up, I informed him, ' All the food was slow .'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called 'at home,' I explained!
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work,we sat down together at the dining room table, & if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the guy was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
Here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood, if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 10. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 11:00 p.m., after playing the national anthem and a poem about God. It came back on the air at about 6:00 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people ...

I never had a telephone in my room.
Our only phone was on a party line.
Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home... But milk was & so was bread.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers -- my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at 5 AM every morning .

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies! There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Don't blame me if they bust their gut laughing.


Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember
:
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.

Ignition switches on the dashboard .
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards .
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner .
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals .

Older Than Dirt Quiz:

Count all the ones that you remember, NOT the ones you were told about !

Ratings at the bottom.


1. Candy cigarettes

2. Coffee shops with table side juke boxes
3. Home milk delivery in glass bottles

4. Party lines on the telephones
5. Newsreels before the movie

6. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (Only 3 channels! If you had a TV!)
7. Pea-shooters

8. Howdy Doody
9. 45 RPM records
10. 78 rpm records

11. Hi-fi records 33 1/3 rpm
12. Metal ice trays with lever

13. Blue flashbulb
14. Cork popguns
15. Studebakers
16. Wash tub wringers


If you remembered 0-3 = You're still young

If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older

If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age, &
If you remembered 11-16
= You're older than dirt! THAT'S ME!
I might be older than dirt, but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.
Don't forget to pass this along!
Especially to all your really OLD friends
 

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