Quotes and Jokes

[Gnomey]

 

[special ed]

Found these on the internet

 

[MiTasol]

PNG pilot

 

[Wurger]

 

[MiTasol]

and a couple of photos of an airline that tells its staff and customers that it has never had an accident. They call this an incident because they spent more than the cost of a new aircraft to repair this one

Note the #3 engine has torn its pylon out of the wing resulting in a massive fuel leak over a hot engine

If you are seated next to an emergency exit on 99.99% of airlines you are told to make sure it is safe to exit before you open that exit. On skippy only the crew can open exits.

and on top of that the first pax off was over 14 minutes and last off was almost 22 minutes. Only the captain can order an evacuation. Who is in the seat that is first to arrive at the scene of the accident? Other airlines give the cabin crew the authority to order an evacuation and the standard requirement is everybody off within 90 seconds in case of fire.

 

[MiTasol]

Do not start your engine unless you have brake pressure and the brakes are locked on.

 

[MiTasol]

and do not land on a floating helipad that is designed for a helicopter with skids when you are flying a chopper with wheels because when a wheel breaks through the deck and you try and lift off again life will get very interesting.

 

[MiTasol]

And here is one where the pilots were cool calm and collected enough to make all the right decisions when everything turned to brown custard with a double engine failure. Mr Douglas and his overbuilt aircraft was an additional factor.

 

[gumbyk]

Do not start your engine unless you have brake pressure and the brakes are locked on.

View attachment 683713

I've seen the aftermath of this happening first-hand.
We had one particular pilot who was always in a hurry. His normal practice was to start the aircraft while on chocks and leave it to warm up. Well, one day he couldn't find the chocks, so just pulled the park brake on a bit harder, and left it at 1500 RPM to warm up a bit quicker. When he got out to do something else, he knocked the park brake off, and the aircraft took off across the apron.
I heard a horrible crunch, (or really a series of crunches), and ran around the corner to see this Cessna 210 wedged into a cherokee with very similar damage to this one.
I'll never forget seeing this guy standing in the middle of the apron with his aircraft buried in another one.

 

[Greg Boeser]

Do not start your engine unless you have brake pressure and the brakes are locked on.

View attachment 683713

Oooh! Julian fries!

 

[MiTasol]

and one for luck
The Renate Schultz was a brand new ship with every concievable safety feature. On this night the duty driver got sick of all the aural false alarms from the radar and other sensors so turned the aural warnings off. Surprisingly the salvage crew were able to separate the ships and bring both back to port.

 

[Lucky13]

And here is one where the pilots were cool calm and collected enough to make all the right decisions when everything turned to brown custard with a double engine failure. Mr Douglas and his overbuilt aircraft was an additional factor.

View attachment 683715

Still remember that....

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[MiTasol]

 

[MiTasol]

 

[Wurger]

 

[MIflyer]

One one launch complex I worked at it was almost this bad

.

 

[Snautzer01]

MIflyer at workplace