Quotes and Jokes (7 Viewers)

[ARTESH]

Well, I just got mine. I'm rich !!!! Not sure when Citibank started using gmail though?

CITIBANK INTERNATIONAL NEW YORK
DIRECTOR, FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT
ADDRESS: 87-11 Queens Boulevard, Elmhurst, NY 11373
From Desktop of Mrs. Charlotte Ferguson


Attention Beneficiary

I want to inform you that your outstanding payment of $14.5 Million US Dollars, which has been with our Central paying office from United Nations has been sign out for payment after series of meeting with our board of directors, We have already sent you two various notification mails as regarding to this New Development and it's surprising we haven't received any acknowledgement mail from you up till this time, I am sending you this mail again as a REMINDER and to have your consent as regarding to the Authorization Letter we received from United Nations, Also this payment will come to you via Bank Transfer, We want to conclude all payment as soon as possible. Below is the information required?


1) Full Name:
2) Full Address:
3) Your contact telephone and fax number:
4) Your Age and Profession:
5) Copy of any valid form of your Identification:
6) Your Bank name:
7) Your Bank Address:
8) Account name:
9) Account Number:
10) ABA/Routing Number:
11) Swift or Sort Code:

Thanks and Congratulations I wait your urgent response.

Thanks and remain bless


DIRECTOR OF FUNDS CLEARANCE UNIT.
here an email ( deleted due to the security system alert )

You really read the whole email?

I fell asleep after reading first line.

 

[ARTESH]

This is totally appropriate for this WW2 airaft forum, and you guys.

"A P-400 is a P-40 with a Zero on it's tail"

LOL

And a P-4000 is a P-40, but in Cents...

 

[Lucky13]

 

[MIflyer]

How many songs do y'all reckon will be written about Teslas?

 

[SaparotRob]

I can't remember a song ever written about an appliance.
Calling Weird Al Yankovich.

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[special ed]

My wife received an actual solicitation from a retirement community about a half hour away. When she got home from work, I told her I'd sign her up.
She said, "I accept!"

 

[MIflyer]

Appliances?

I recall that back in the late 80's I took my Ercoupe to an airport a short distance away from my home field to have an altitude encoder installed, that being a new requirement in the Wash DC area. When the job was done I rolled the Ercoupe back away from the building and went inside to pay for the work and pick up the paperwork.

A Beech King Air had come in with a load of businessmen for some meeting. That big fancy twin no doubt had radios that alone cost more than I paid for my Ercoupe, but when I came back outside the businessmen were clustered around the front my airplane, not the King Air. After that, I observed that airplanes will always be more interesting than office equipment.

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[MiTasol]

A woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was chiefly responsible for getting horses banned from National Parks and State Forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site.

In a panic to escape, she slid down the tree, getting a great number of splinters lodged in her crotch area. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor, (a country Doctor) and told him that she was an environmentalist and how she got all the splinters.

The doctor listened with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She waited for 3 hours before the doctor reappeared. Angry, the woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

"Well..." replied the doctor, "...I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forestry Service, the National Parks and Wildlife Service, the Wilderness Society and the Department of Conservation and Land Management before I could remove 'old growth timber' from a 'recreational area'… I'm sorry but they all turned me down.

 

[Lucky13]

Well, Karl!?

 

[MIflyer]

From Youtube:

Is Saudi Arabia on Tantooine?

Where's Jabba the Hut?

 

[Wurger]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[MIflyer]

Well, it's not like they are using a metal ladder!

 

[GTX]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[special ed]