Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,088
- Mar 26, 2007
HAHAHA thats too funny. 
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,088
- Mar 26, 2007
Thanks guys. still grinning at the lot of them.
New to me ......
An elderly man in Queensland, Australia, had owned a large property for several years.
He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees.The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a ten-litre bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave.'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.
Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.
He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees.The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a ten-litre bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave.'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.
Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.
buffnut453
Captain
Now that King Charles III has ascended to the throne, does that mean the UK's Post Office will be renamed C3PO?
I have my
and I'm not afraid to use it!
I have my
and I'm not afraid to use it!
syscom3
Pacific Historian
Lol
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,680
- May 13, 2018
A man and his nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While there, his wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5000 or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land for $150."
The man thought about it and decided he would have her shipped home for $5000.
"Why would you spend $5000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here, and for only $150?"
"Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
The man thought about it and decided he would have her shipped home for $5000.
"Why would you spend $5000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here, and for only $150?"
"Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,088
- Mar 26, 2007
My kind of t-shirt
syscom3
Pacific Historian
A dad joke.
