A high school Teacher's warning for the next day's final exam.
"I will not tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, or a serious personal injury, or a death in your immediate family. That's it. No other excuses whatsoever!"
The class smart ass asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and total sexual exhaustion?"
When the laughter stops, the teacher smiles and says,
"Well, I guess you will have to write with your other hand."