Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
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MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
one to make you think
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
You need to think around "old people". A tale from the wild, wild West ...
"An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.
As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
He looked at the woman and laughed,
"Hey old woman, have you ever danced?"
The woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... Never really wanted to"
A crowd has gathered as the young gunslinger grinned and said, "Well you old bag, you're gonna dance now!", and started shooting at the old woman's feet.
The old woman prospector - not wanting to have her toes blown off- started hopping around. Many were laughing.
When his last bullet was fired, the gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.
The gunslinger heard the sounds too and turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched tensely as he stared at the woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in her hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No m'am, but I've always wanted too"
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid
"An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.
As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
He looked at the woman and laughed,
"Hey old woman, have you ever danced?"
The woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... Never really wanted to"
A crowd has gathered as the young gunslinger grinned and said, "Well you old bag, you're gonna dance now!", and started shooting at the old woman's feet.
The old woman prospector - not wanting to have her toes blown off- started hopping around. Many were laughing.
When his last bullet was fired, the gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.
The gunslinger heard the sounds too and turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched tensely as he stared at the woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in her hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No m'am, but I've always wanted too"
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,710
- May 13, 2018
I taught my youngest daughter, "If you are stupid, you die. Don't get eliminated."
One can ask her today, "What did your father teach you?" and that will be her answer.
I knew the lesson was learned when she was about four, when she was watching Steve Irwin on TV trying to get a very large rattlesnake from under a rock in Arizona.
Steve said, "My this is a large one. He could kill you in about 20 seconds."
My daughter, staring at the TV, said, "Well, don't touch it. Kill it!"
I knew she would be all right.
One can ask her today, "What did your father teach you?" and that will be her answer.
I knew the lesson was learned when she was about four, when she was watching Steve Irwin on TV trying to get a very large rattlesnake from under a rock in Arizona.
Steve said, "My this is a large one. He could kill you in about 20 seconds."
My daughter, staring at the TV, said, "Well, don't touch it. Kill it!"
I knew she would be all right.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
I was just thinking about the time I heard someone describe an experience with a light gun his uncle had at Peachtree Dekalb Airport soon after the end of WWII. He got a phone call saying that 200 Stearman biplanes were going to stop there to refuel. They were on the way to a surplus aircraft disposal facility. And they had no radios; he would have to use light signals to sort them out and get them landed.
So here they came, an enormous beehive of biplanes. He took the light gun, picked out one and gave him the green signal. Five airplanes waggled their wings in response. He had great fun getting them all sorted out and landed.
So here they came, an enormous beehive of biplanes. He took the light gun, picked out one and gave him the green signal. Five airplanes waggled their wings in response. He had great fun getting them all sorted out and landed.
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Those planes must have made a beautiful sound.
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,321
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,321
- Mar 26, 2007
Why? Because of what? In my part of the world being Europe, he still is seen as a wold life preseverer of some magnitude. Before all things with sharp teeth, venom and not looking cuddly and were yukkie.
Yes he made a show. He did. For all reasons people that need to make a living.
Like David Attenborough. The gift to nature the world can not be without. Countless programs but in the end these guys are not that different.
They like critters and want them well.
He did other species . And for that matter i would like to have his balls in doing what he did as he did. Fat change on that but i hope you see what i mean.
Why in the hell would he be an embarrassment?
Frankly i take a friendly offence to that.
Here is another "mad" snake hunter. He works in South Africa rescuing snakes from peoples homes, garages, outbuildings etc where they crawl behind stuff to hide, and releasing them back into the wild where they can live safely.
Everything about the legendary Simon Keys and his interesting life
The legendary SIMON KEYS is known all over South Africa because of his bravery and unrelenting search for reptiles that everyone is scared of. Read his story.
briefly.co.za
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
And this reminds me of our resident grader operator from BC.
