Lucky13
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I'm offended that you're being offended of me being offended....
Quotes and Jokes (6 Viewers)
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I'm offended that you're being offended of me being offended....
buffnut453
Captain
I'm offended that you lot can't come up with any decent jokes!
Sort it out or I'll be back with a few howlers (and you know I can do it!). Per one of my recent posts in this thread, I have a loaded coat and I'm not afraid to use it!
Sort it out or I'll be back with a few howlers (and you know I can do it!). Per one of my recent posts in this thread, I have a loaded coat and I'm not afraid to use it!
Greg Boeser
2nd Lieutenant
Bring it on, Tough Guy!
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,712
- May 13, 2018
Where can single men over 70 find younger women who are interested in them?
The bookstore under fiction.
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
an appropriate video. Watch to the end
A tiny bit NSFW, but whatever… 
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.
On her way home, she stops at to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the assistant, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?".
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'No! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd say about 29.''No, I'm 50.' the woman replies with a big smile.
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops at a another shop on her way home. She goes up to the counter to and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The assistant responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, 'Madam, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'
She waits in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, 'Oh bug*er it, go on then"
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each bre*st and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her bre*sts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay.....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her bre*sts removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
'I was behind you at McDonalds'.
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.
On her way home, she stops at to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the assistant, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?".
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'No! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd say about 29.''No, I'm 50.' the woman replies with a big smile.
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops at a another shop on her way home. She goes up to the counter to and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The assistant responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, 'Madam, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'
She waits in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, 'Oh bug*er it, go on then"
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each bre*st and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her bre*sts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay.....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her bre*sts removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
'I was behind you at McDonalds'.
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
Shortround6
Major General
Especially helpful if you are over 70
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
I hate 3d jigsaws
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,352
- Mar 26, 2007
So thats how Buzz tied the knot. The old ATM scam.Especially helpful if you are over 70
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,352
- Mar 26, 2007
Dont it will bite youre head o...
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Run away !
